suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
