I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
