Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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