What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
