Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
