I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
