she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
