why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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