I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
