and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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