i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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