i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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