Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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