Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
