Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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