I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
