the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
