guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize