How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
