I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
time to smoke my breakfast
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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