You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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