Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
