You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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