Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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