wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize