i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
