she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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