did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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