Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
