I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
