Bisexual people are plain selfish.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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