I hate your face
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
