I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
