thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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