I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
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As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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