Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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