between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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