About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
