Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
