Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
