strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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