i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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