the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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