come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
