sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
