Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
