called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
