I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
