ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
