So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
