I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
