have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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