You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
