And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
