Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
