I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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