We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
