someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
As shirtless as possible
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
