end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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